Friendships Do Not Come Free, These Are The 6 Costs Of Having REAL Friends

group of young women on coffee break, enjoying in discussion

Image: Doctoroz

Friendships today are not what they used to be. Nowadays, a “friend” can be any person we have a few conversations with, work with, or “like” on Facebook we call “friend.”

We’re not saying this is anything bad, but because the word friend is thrown around carelessly, the real meaning behind a Biblical friendship is lost.

“To become another’s friend in the true sense—is to take the other into such close, living fellowship, that his life and ours are knit together as one. It is far more than a pleasant companionship in bright, sunny hours. A genuine friendship—is entirely unselfish. It seeks no benefit or good of its own. It does not love—for what it may receive—but for what it may give. Its aim is “not to be served—but to serve” (Mark 10:45).”

Think about your closest friends and some that are not so close. Do you know how your “friends” are doing? How their hearts are? The spiritual condition of their soul?

For whoever you couldn’t answer this questions, it may be that you two know each other on a superficial level, and not on a personal one. We came to the conclusion that friendships are a difficult thing to maintain. It
really does cost you to be a friend, and maybe that is why we may not have that many real ones.

1. It costs personal convenience

This is when we must be willing to put our personal preferences aside and value others as more important than ourselves (Phil. 2:3). Maybe they need someone to vent to, or maybe they need a favor that we can’t refuse them. Friendships at times, can be an inconvenience.

2. It costs time.

Building a solid trust with a companion takes time. You can’t possibly expect to have a good relationship with a friend without putting in the time to get to know them

3. It costs intimacy.

Ask yourself what drew you to your friend. Was it their humor or cleverness? Friendship is designed for growth and this means that you each have to help each other identify your own flaws and keep sins in check. In order to do this, you need to know their heart and they need to know yours. Intimacy must be part of friendships.

4. It costs comfort.

What happens when being someone’s friend suddenly becomes an inconvenience? Well, the real friends that love and support you will stick by you no matter what, because they know you’ll do the same for them. Its much more than sitting around sipping lattes.

5. It costs prayer.

Like a marriage or a relationship, friendships must have prayer. How can you not lift up your spiritual brother or sister through prayer?

6. It costs love.

People are not perfect, so no matter what ugliness we find in our friends we must continue to love. Sometimes unkindness and selfishness will emerge. That is when God’s advice takes into effect.

“As He loves us—He would have us love others. We say men are not worthy of such friendships. True, they are not. Neither are we worthy of Christ’s wondrous love for us. But Christ loves us—not according to our worthiness—but according to the riches of His own loving heart! So should it be with our giving of friendship—not as the person deserves—but after the measure of our own character.”

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
John 15:13

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