Now, if only it were that easy to keep your teenager safe and out of trouble! Your worries have escalated into something like: ‘Is my son accessing pornography?’ ‘Is my daughter ‘sexting’—sending lewd photos of herself via cell phone?’ And the dreaded question, ‘Is my teenager sexually active?’

Illusion of Control

There are some parents out there that try to maintain a 24-hour surveillance over their teens by hovering over them and monitoring their every move. Many of them discover that such ‘helicopter parenting’ only drove their teen underground. In time, their children became professional at hiding the very conduct the parents were trying to prevent.

Control is not the answer. God himself does not use that method to elicit obedience from his creatures, and neither should you as a parent.

“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!” (Deuteronomy 30:19)

Need for Good Values

Children need to know more about sex than just the facts of life.

“their perceptive powers trained to distinguish both right and wrong.” (Hebrews 5:14)

They need values—a moral code made up of strongly held beliefs about sex—along with conduct that conforms to those beliefs.

But how can you instill good values in your teenager? You can start by considering your own values. 

Make your values clear.

Solid family values will provide a foundation upon which children can build their own.

TRY THIS: Use a news event to initiate a discussion and communicate your values. For example, if a sex crime is reported. Anything really can be used as an excuse to show your standing.

Teach the whole truth about sex.

The Bible primarily portrays sex as a gift of God, not as a trap of Satan. (Proverbs 5:18, 19; Song of Solomon 1:2) Be careful about telling your teens only about the dangers may leave them with a distorted, unscriptural view of the topic.

Make sure that your children get the whole truth about sex.

The next time you talk to your teen about sex, end the discussion on a positive note. Do not be afraid to portray sex as a wonderful gift from God that he or she can enjoy in the future as a married person.

 Help your teen to evaluate the consequences.

Teenagers need to know how to identify options and then weigh the pros and cons of each option to make good decisions in ANY aspect of life. Do not think that their simply knowing what is right and what is wrong is enough.

The Bible can help, for example, Proverbs 5:8-9 urges young men to shun fornication “that you may not give to others your dignity.” As those verses indicate, those who engage in premarital sex sacrifice a degree of their character, integrity, and self-respect.